What Feeling Sounds Like
by eternitysky
Summary: [Because their stories can be described so well by music][Mostly KF and SS] Discontinued. Sticking with oneshots.
1. Vow

I promised myself to never write songfics, but here I am, doing just that, because there are so many songs that fit so well with the manga.

This will be a collection of oneshots with various songs, artists, themes and pairings, mostly being centered around the KxF and SxS pairings, but will include friendship fics, and.. others.

Disclaimer: The characters belong to the collective mind of CLAMP, and the lyrics to Garbage.

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_Vow _

_You burned me out, but I'm back at your door_

_Like Joan of Arc coming back for more_

_I nearly died..._

ooooooo

That day had been, in Fay's opinion, a mixed blessing. He knew he wouldn't be able to fulfill his wish, nor the wish of Sakura and the other wishes which were relying on him for completion. But at least, Fay would be getting the release for which he had waited, yet would never allow himself to actually have.

And yet, that damned _obstacle _of a man would not allow him any sort of peace, and would not aid in getting him one of the few things he wanted, regardless of how many times his empty threats had promised just that. The part that Fay had found the most amusing is that the man actually thought he was doing the right thing.

Fay remembered the surge of anger he felt towards the taller man the first time he woke up after being reborn. And he remembered the ache in his body- which was still present-, not from missing the eye, but missing half of his very identity. But this loss wasn't as painful for the blonde as many would have thought it to be; it was just loosing another small part of himself, and of course would never compare to loosing his other half those countless years ago, and how, even in that moment, looking at the man who with one action had saved him and cursed him for another eternity, that missing half of his heart and soul ached far more than his missing magic, eye, or even identity -which was never all that solid to begin with.

And what more could Fay do at that moment, than smile and say, "Good morning, Kurogane.", and allow himself the small satisfaction of seeing the surprise on his face, which Fay hoped was mixed with hurt or some kind of pain to reflect the agony inside the mage at that instant.

From that moment, Fay vowed to hate Kurogane, and try to hurt Kurogane in every single way he felt the ninja had done to him, however unknowingly it had been. He vowed to break him, to break his wishes and to break his life in every way he possibly could; to, for once, fulfill this need boiling in his blood- something else stolen from his identity, for even his blood was not fully his own anymore.

ooooooo

_I came to cut you up_

_I came to knock you down_

_I came around to tear your little world apart_

oooooo

But of course, he could not kill the man because it would only hinder their journey at that point, and because simply killing him just wouldn't give him the _satisfaction_ that he craved. Killing the ninja would not destroy Kurogane's world as Kurogane destroyed his – in countless ways: some of which Fay was unwilling to acknowledge even to himself. Yet Fay knew that, eventually, he would find a way to ruin Kurogane, to tear everything away from him, to make him as completely hopeless as he had felt when the ninja robbed him of the ability to even control his own death.

But even in those moments of anger in which he was ready just to take the man's own sword and pierce it right through his heart, all satisfaction be damned, he knew he wouldn't.

For the sake of Sakura, who had for so many reasons become precious to him; the only one fit to be his princess, the only one, on alarmingly many occasions, in those many worlds that he would continue living for. And he knew that it would upset her if anything happened to Kurogane, and he didn't want her to cry, or to disappoint her in any way as he had the other important people in his life. She was his only reason.

That's what he told himself, at least.

And so, Fay would never be able to do it in anything less than a figurative sense, reduced to hurting the other man with subtle coldness and quiet insults behind closed doors, and managed to satisfy himself with the way Kurogane's eyes darkened with every word coming out of his mouth.

And every time he had to restrain himself from doing more than uttering those subtle words, he thought of Sakura and how much she reminded him of the half of his soul that he would never be able to replace and whom he could not yet give up trying to save.

ooooooo

_I came to shut you up _

_I came to drag you down_

_I came around to tear your little world apart_

_And break your soul apart._

oooooo

Fin. 

Well... again, not completely satisfied; mostly because this vampire angst seems to be a recurring theme with me... short vampire angst. Oi.

And if you have a song in mind, feel free to suggest it... because I don't know all the music in the world : ) ( but I cannot guarantee that the songs will be written.. as I have a pile of songs myself)

Comments and criticisms appreciated. A lot. :D


	2. I'm Gonna Watch You Sleep

Okay then

Now for a little... er... fluff, if you can call it that... because we're in desperate need of it right now.

I actually wrote this a little while ago, and just never posted it... but seeing as Deathly Hallows has swallowed my soul, I decided to post it before I completely forgot about it.

Disclaimer: Characters of CLAMP, lyrics of Hamell on Trial.

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_I'm Gonna Watch You Sleep_

_Gazing at you while you take a shower_

_Now's the best time to stare at you_

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Kurogane, one could state with confidence, was a highly irritable person. And he had found few things in the world – all the worlds, to be politically correct, that annoyed him more than a certain blonde mage with a smile and attitude that could only be described as vivacious, but Kurogane more accurately described as elusive. So, it would only be logical that having to share a room with the blonde wizard would not be Kurogane's ideal situation. But, nonetheless, he forced himself to see it as another inconvenience on his quest to return to his homeland.

After a long and tedious day of escaping ferocious beasts, and protecting underground organization leaders, not to mention searching for a feather, the group had retired to the quarters they had managed to secure for themselves.

Because it was late, Kurogane immediately stalked off to the room he shared with Fay, and after a shower, settled into bed. This was the warrior's strategy whenever he was forced to sleep within close proximity of the mage, as it spared him the energy and frustration of yelling at the blonde while bounced across the room and wailed senseless obscenities through a good portion of the night.

oooo

The morning strategy for the ninja, in the event of sharing a room with the blonde, was fairly similar, though not nearly as difficult to achieve, as the blonde had an impeccable way of waking himself up at- what Kurogane swore was- the crack of dawn.

That morning, however, had not turned out quite as successful as the ninja had hoped, as he awoke to a quiet yawn escaping the lithe man's mouth. He cursed himself silently and pretended to be asleep just until, he thought, the idiot would leave the room. And after what seemed like a tediously long time for the simple act of getting out of bed to Kurogane, he could still hear the shifting of the mage's bed sheets, and wondered just how long it took the mage to get ready every morning.

With a slight headache already throbbing in the back of his head, Kurogane allowed himself to open one ruby eye to see exactly what the hell the other man was doing. He was greeted with the sight of a pale back, and hands running though tousled blonde locks. The mage then proceeded to stand up, and stretch his arms over his head in effortless grace and fluidity that made him seem as if he were preparing to float off the ground. With a gentle sigh, the wizard proceeded to stretch the other muscles of his arms: the early morning shadows cast on the blonde -who's bed was located right over the window-, and the dim lights of the morning sun allowed the ninja to see the muscles of his back tightening and relaxing in coordination with the blonde's other movements, and Kurogane could almost swear the blonde was aware of his consciousness, and was making a show just for him. Kurogane became almost sure of it as those pale fingers again ran through the blonde locks and then proceeded to adjust the pants which were hanging impossibly low on his waist.

Kurogane chose not to think on that part.

Combined with the orange and pink hues of the morning sun, the fluidity of his movements and the perplexing pallor of the blonde, Kurogane was half-expecting a pair of wings to pop out of that back, or for him to simply disappear into a whirl of pixy dust. But after another airy sigh, the blonde proceeded into the shower, never once looking to where the ninja was pretending to sleep.

Kurogane let out a sigh of his own, but suddenly felt slightly uncomfortable getting out of bed… he would wait for the blonde to get out of the shower. So he shifted his position, and once again closed his eyes. It would be easier to escape from the wizard's clutches for a little longer this way.

Kurogane never heard the shower door close. He did not open his eyes.

And so, after a short while, he heard the mage once reenter the room once more, humming lightly to himself. Kurogane kept his eyes closed, but felt slightly nervous as the humming stopped and he heard the mage's light footsteps coming towards his bed.

---

Fay stood over the dark haired man, whose eyes were, in fact, closed. A smile slowly crept up his face as his impossibly blue eyes surveyed the other man's features. He leaned over languidly so he was sure the ninja could feel Fay's breath on his face. And the mage saw the light blush staining the tanned face, and proceeded to widen his smile before leaning down further and pressing his lips to the man's heated cheek in an almost exaggerated kiss.

"Get up, Kuro-tan!" Fay breathed into his ear, gently placing a cool hand to the tanned chest. The ninja pretended to sleep on.

The blonde laughed cordially, just as gently pulling away from the taller man -hand rising to his collar before pulling itself away as well- and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

---

Kurogane opened his eyes sharply. The vanilla sent of the blonde's soaps still lingered in his nostrils, and even though there was no one to see it, his blush intensified.

Damn that idiot to hell.

…

He really needed a cold shower.

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_Man, you look so beautiful. _

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Okay... I actually do not know what I was thinking, and I feel it went downhill as I continued writing.

Well... comments, criticisms and song recommendations are appreciated. :D


End file.
